


Birthday Boys

by MusingsOnBuckyBarnes



Category: Captain America (Movies), Hornblower (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Birthday, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Steve Rogers's Birthday, two of my fandom boyfriends have the same birthday what are the odds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 05:05:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15163283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusingsOnBuckyBarnes/pseuds/MusingsOnBuckyBarnes
Summary: Two Americans and two Englishmen walk into a bar. Two of them share a birthday.





	Birthday Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Since one of my past fictional boyfriends (Horatio Hornblower) and one of my current fictional boyfriends (Steve Rogers) share the same birthday, I felt in the mood to do a little crack fic for them to celebrate that fact. I may come back and tinker with it.

 

Two Americans and two Englishmen walked into a bar. The two Americans were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, who were two ex WW II soldiers, and the two Englishmen were Horatio Hornblower and Archie Kennedy, two ex Age of Sail sailors.

All four were adapting to this new world, the 21st Century, so it had been suggested that they meet up at this bar, which was run by fandom.

Introductions were made and hands were shaken.

“Happy Birthday, Captain,” Steve said to Horatio.

“And Happy Birthday to you, Captain,” was the reply.

Steve smiled. “100 years young. And you don’t look a day over 242.”

“Well, that depends which canon birthdate I go by,” Horatio said seriously. “The other date makes me even older.”

“But apparently it’s not the age; it’s the mileage,” Archie said, which made Horatio give him a look then a small smile. Horatio was very straight-laced, but Archie’s more sunny personality often helped to bring him out of his shell.

They chose a quiet table and sat down. They ordered and received drinks, and talk quickly turned to food.

Bucky said, “We’re certainly enjoying the prolific food, both in quantity and quality.”

“Same here. Lovely not to have to pick weevils out of it. Or get scurvy,” Archie commented. He had been the only one of the four of them not to grow up poor. Archie had been the third son of a lord, with few options but to go to sea. However, then he had spent a number of years enduring the limited food on a naval sailing ship, and as a prisoner of war.

They discussed technology.  Horatio said, “The internet is most informative. And smoking is actually bad for people. Everyone has tattoos now. _Everyone._ ”

Then there were the huge changes in history. Horatio and Archie had been best friends, as had Steve and Bucky; they had also been secret lovers too. If Horatio and Archie’s relationship had been discovered while they were in the Navy in the late 1700s, they could have been hung. Now they were adapting to homosexuality being legal, but that it had still taken so long, and that Steve and Bucky had also had to keep their relationship a secret in the 20th Century. They were all getting used to being able to show romantic affection in public. It was a relief that they knew they could do so openly in here.

Then Bucky and Archie decided to discuss what their boyfriends had in common.

Bucky said, “They both tend to think outside the box and find a way to get things done. Yours is as stubborn as mine.”

Archie nodded. “Insufferably so. But they both look amazing in their uniforms.”

“And we hate bullies,” Horatio said, blushing and trying to divert attention from their looks. He considered himself a tall, thin scarecrow.

“And have long-suffering spouses,” Steve commented.

Not just long-suffering in the usual sense. Both Archie and Bucky had been prisoners of war, and upon discovering them again, Horatio and Steve had refused to leave them behind. Archie and Bucky had been missing, presumed dead, for several years before their soulmates had learned the truth and set about helping them. Their bonds, and also their own deep inner strengths had saved them.

Then the Powers That Be had decided to kill off Archie at the end of a mini-series they screened in 2002. The fans had speedily dealt with that stupidity. In the USA, for example, the fandom reacted by managing to resurrect him in fic posted by East Coast viewers _before_ he had managed to pop his clogs three hours later on the West Coast. So here was Archie now, serene and very much alive.

The changes in weapons were remarked upon, like how Age of Sail pistols only had one shot and took so much time to reload that there was often no time in battle to do so.

Then the manager of the bar arrived at the table to chat to them. She had issued the original invitation, and explained, “Horatio is a past fandom boyfriend of mine, and Steve is a current one. Though in both cases, I _was_ more into Archie and Bucky.”

There was a pause.

“Well, that proves that she’s got great taste,” Bucky said. Archie nodded and clinked glasses with him.

“Ironically, when I went to the cinema to see _Fantastic Four_ , I did so for you” – she pointed at Horatio – “and not you” – she pointed at Steve. “Funny how things have flipped since then. Though I still think that crewcut is a _huge_ turnoff.”

The Manager produced a screen capture from _Fantastic Four_ , of Steve and Johnny standing side-by-side. All four men peered at it with interest.

Horatio touched his own long hair and said to Steve, “Perhaps we should cut our hai-”

“NO!!!!” bellowed Archie, Bucky and the manager.

They pouted. “It’s my hair,” Steve pointed out.

“And I like to be able to run my hands _through_ it,” Bucky said. Archie nodded.

“We must know when we are outmanoeuvred.” Horatio raised his glass in a toast. “Happy Birthday, old man.”

Steve reciprocated. “Happy Birthday, even older man.”

Cue a perfectly-timed dual eyeroll from Bucky and Archie.

Jokes were made about getting many happy returns.

Temporary decorum was restored. The manager went to greet other guests. Talk turned to what careers Horatio and Archie could have in this new world. Horatio was leaning towards being a maths teacher and Archie was embracing teaching literature or acting.

Horatio said, “So many years, but still so much to learn and see and do.” He looked pleased at the prospect, instead of daunted. They all did.

The manager returned to say, “I’ll bring out the cakes soon.”

Archie blinked. “How much of a fire hazard is that going to be?”

Horatio shrugged. “Mine will probably be in the shape of a ship. With all the candles, it really will be a fire ship. But I’ve dealt with them before.” Then he laughed. He was now relaxing and getting into the spirit of things. “And here’s to the real thing to celebrate: To fangirls! For saving – and slashing – our arses.”

“Or asses,” Steve said, but in amiable agreement, and they all drank to that.

 


End file.
